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. . . When people throw stones at my glass house



Saturday, August 27, 2005
Takot Ka Ba Sa Dilim?

Nagbrown out sa RCBC nung isang gabi. Natakot kaming lahat. May multo daw kasi sa opisina. Pagkatapos kong pakinggan ang mga naratibo nila tungkol sa mga gumagalang kaluluwa sa 26th floor sa RCBC, hirap na din akong makatulog. Dalawang gabi na rin akong di nagpapatay ng ilaw sa kwarto dahil sa mga kwento na, maaaring kathang-isip lang, maaaring guni-guni o di kaya'y totoong nangyari. Totoo nga ba ang multo? Relatibo naman ang kasagutan. Para sa Katolikong tulad kong naniniwalang katawan at kaluluwa ang bumubuo sa tao, posibleng maihalintulad ang kaluluwa sa multo.

Ayokong magkumbinsi ng tao na paniwalaan ang mga karanasan ko. Ayoko rin namang kumbinsihin ang sariling walang multo dahil kahit ilang beses kong gustong kalimutan ang nangyari, hindi magbabago ang katotohanang nakakita na ako. Ang mga sumusunod ay ilan lamang sa mga gusto kong ibahaging karanasan ukol sa kinatatakutan ng karamihan...

Nakakita na ako ng white lady. Di ba't napaka-popular niya sa mga pelikula at mga kwentong kababalaghan? Isa lang ako sa mga karamihang nakakita sa kaniya. Nagbakasyon ako kasama ng aking pamilya sa bahay ng tito't-tita ko sa Subic, Olongapo (nung may mga US bases pa sa Pinas). Hapon nun, umalis silang lahat. Ang naiwan lang sa bahay ay ang nanay ko, kapatid ko at ako. Nasa sala kami. Katapat ng sala ang kwarto ng tita ko. Bukas ang pinto kaya kitang-kita ko ang closet nila. Padaan-daan lang ako sa pintuan. Nung isang beses akong mapadaan, bigla ko na lang nakita na bukas ang closet. Napatigil ako sa tapat ng pintuan dahil sa puting damit na nakalutang. Pagtingin ko, isang babaeng puting-puti, mahaba ang buhok at nanlalaki ang mata ang nakatingin sa akin.

Natutulog ako isang gabi sa kwarto namin. Katabi ko pa nga ang aking kapatid. Naalimpungatan ako dahil naramdaman kong di ako makahinga at parang namanhid ang aking mga paa. Hindi ako makagalaw. Nararamdaman kong may nakahawak sa aking paa. Takot na ako nun. Gusto kong sumigaw pero kahit iyon ay hindi ko magawa. Pilit kong ibinukas ng kaunti ang aking mata at sinilip kung anong kababalaghan ang nangyayari. Wala na akong nagawa kundi ipikit ulit ang aking mata pagkatapos makita ang isang mahabang taong itim na nasa aking paanan. Tahimik na lang akong nagdasal habang nakapikit.

Nasa writing workshop ako nun ng Malate Literary Folio sa may Laguna (kung hindi ako nagkakamali). Maghahating-gabi na rin. Nagkakatuwaan ang lahat habang kami ay nakabilog sa aming upuan. Ang lakas ng tawanan nang bigla nalang akong napatingin sa isang sulok mula sa aming kinauupuan. Nakita ko nalang ang isang ulo na nakalagay sa patong-patong na upuan.

Ang daming ghost stories sa Pilipinas. Kung dati rati sa probinsya lang ang kinatatakutan (lalo na kung taga Capiz ka), ngayon totoo na nga ang pelikula ni Manilyn Reynes na pinamagatang, Multo in the City. Samu't-saring kwento ang naglalabasan tungkol sa mga bagay na hindi maipaliwanag ng siyensiya at ng ating kaalaman. Hindi ba't nagdagsaan ang mga palabas tungkol sa mga multo't aswang? Tuwang-tuwa tayo sa tuwing may bagong nakakatakot na palabas o pangyayari. Tuwang-tuwa tayo dahil may bago na naman tayong pag-uusapan. Pero huwag ka! Kapag nasa sinehan naman o di kaya sadyang naranasan, kumakaripas na tayo sa takbo at muntik nang atakihin sa puso sa takot!

Sa kabilang dako, kung ang bumubuo nga sa ating pagkatao ay ang katawan at kaluluwa, nawei-weirdohan lang ako. Bakit hanggang sa kamatayan, ang pinahahalagahan lang ay ang katawan? Mabigat ang trapiko sa may amin noong isang araw dahil may patay na ihahatid sa kanyang huling hantungan. Umiiyak ang mga kamag-anakan malamang. Nakasakay sa sasakyan ang kabaong na kinalalagyan ng pinahahalagahang katawan. Eh kung magpakita kaya ang kaluluwa ng patay sa kanyang asawa o anak nung gabi ring iyon, ano kaya ang kalalabasan?

Takot. Iyan ang salitang aking kinatatakutan. Takot akong harapin ang takot na bumabalot at nananakot sa aking matatakuting sarili. Ano??? Naisip ko lang, baka ang multo na ating nakikita ay simbolo ng ating duwag na pagkatao. Tayo mismo ang gumagawa ng multo. Tayo ang sarili nating multo.

Posted at 02:04 pm by eloisa_elinia

hehe
December 3, 2007   11:07 PM PST
 
wakokok!
zee rocks
September 2, 2005   08:24 AM PDT
 
shempre tinatakot nyo mga sarili nyo hehe.. kinwento rin sakin ni ida, SHEMPRE ndi rin ako maka2log ng maayos! waaah!!
elinia
August 30, 2005   09:24 PM PDT
 
tina: oo kaya mag-iingat ka, mga repa-peeps ko sila, be good to me ehehe

ida: talaga? di ko alam yun ah

jennifer LH lookalyk: haha, gaano kalalim, 6 ft?
Jennifer LH lookalyk
August 30, 2005   06:10 AM PDT
 
whoa! profound!
mmmqx
August 29, 2005   05:49 PM PDT
 
baka depende lang sa tao kung mukha silang multo o hindi. :P ahehe.
sabi pala dati sa malate, kasi madalas daw magpakita kay harris yung mga multo, tapos sabi nung isang supposedly may 3rd eye, kaya daw ganun, kasi yung aura daw ni harris, mukha siyang madaling paglaruan. hehe, nakwento ko na ba yun?
pero baka nga simbolo 'yun ng kung gaano tayo kalakas, pero kung ganun, bakit wala akong nakikitang multo, 'eh ang dali-dali kong matakot?
not that i'm complaining or anything...
tina_stars
August 28, 2005   05:41 AM PDT
 
ha? may multo sa bahay natin?
 

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SILENT ALL THESE YEARS




times like these... infinite sadness

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to know her and be known in return"

Eloisa - equanimity, melancholy, freedom
Eloi-loi - nonchalant, funky, impulsive
Elinia - fun, childlike, crazy


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Born on the 14th of December 1983. Thought to be a child prodigy. Prefers cats to dogs. Non-coffee drinker. Loves to ride the space shuttle. Graduated without honors. Waits for the black hole sun to wash away the rain. Sings rock songs in videoke. Can read Korean characters. Has a strong affinity for isopropyl alcohol. Poetry and music addict. Can draw stick people. Lousy handwriting. Loves pink and black. Introvert. Introspective. Pizzapasta lover.



These are a few of my favorite things

Apple, oranges, yellow, pink, black, neon, nail polish, chucks, long skirts, pillows (chocolate snack), marshmallows, rainbow, portico, headbands, studs, gig shirts, umbrella, handkerchief, post-its, hairclips, white visor, piano, guitar, drums, printed socks, boy bawang, mernell’s cake, plastic bags, paper bags, anti-diarrhea, baby cologne, baby soap, powercard, full house, bi's pics, seok’s card, hula-hoops, Acete de manzanilla, scrabble, chess, pictures, neruda’s love poems, journals, pumpkins' albums, arirang tv, dictionary, receipts.


Three things that I am proud I can do

1. Read, think and type all at the same time.
2. Make those ketchups in fast food chains that they scantily give as an alternative for candy.
3. Sing under a pillow.


   





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Gallery - my pics, my own


More Gallery - old pics, new blog


Much More Gallery - replicate pics on photo blog



10 things I hate about me

1. I can never appreciate flowers. Butterfly phobic (or whatever the right term for this) = distance myself from anything that they love.
2. I am a certified garbage collector. I collect receipts, plastic bags, paper bags, Tower records and other record store’s wrappings for CD’s, memos, passed-notes (from school during a boring class), quizzes and other activities that involve papers from my favorite subjects, etc.
3. I can easily fall in love (tsk, tsk... )
4. I bite my handkerchiefs (so they usually appear worn and frayed).
5. I am an introvert (so what the hell am I doing this blog for? And why in the world does my profile appear on Friendster?) ... Nah, John Donne’s right, no man is an island (duh?!!)
6. I am a spendthrift when in comes to books and CD’s
7. I don’t care about new clothes and fashion. My mom jokingly tells me every time I would be in need of a new attire or piece of clothing for a certain event or occasion, I can tie up or sew together all my books and CD’s to have something to wear. Nyahaha!
8. I am a paradox of everything and that is why my life is always a clear confusion.
9. I do things that are not supposed to be done, miss people you’re not supposed to miss, read books that are not supposed to be read, love people you are not supposed to love but in the end...it doesn’t even matter
10. I am always a wannabe.

Rollingstone magazine
Guitar tabs
Drum tabs
indieculture
astig ang Pulp
Filipino Art
More Great Filipino Artists
Tagalog Dictionary
OPM Lyrics
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Poetry

my work, my own
Pablo Neruda
Emily Dickinson
Sylvia Plath
John Donne
Billy Collins
Chinua Achebe
Matsuo Basho
Anne Michaels
Michael Ondaatje


Fiction/Non-Fiction

my work, my own
Charles Dickens
Haruki Murakami
Jeanette Winterson
Ernest Hemingway
James Joyce

The WeatherPixie


calling all Tolkien aficionados, are you up for a "Frodo to Mount Doom-like" challenge?



My Blog Collection

2005 Winter Camp files
Bi/Rain files
More on Rain
Anti-popular
Photo Gallery
The Asian Wave
Pinoy-indie
My Poetry
My Lyrics
The Ultimate Part 2
Elinia_Witch
Other Writings
Album Reviews
The Ultimate


Ang Mga Paborito Kong Entries

Our Curiosity Kills the Cat - for all the catlovers. and those who truly care for God's creations.
Dreamweaver- stitching life's glitches
Makulay Ba Ang Mundo?- colorful life, beautiful life
Takot Ka Ba Sa Dilim?- multu-multuhan at ang sariling multo.
Antipara - luminaw ang tingin, sa katotohanan ay magising.
Still in the Mood...more serious topics- serious mood, serious talks.
Walking Contradiction - As below, so above, As above, so below
How to make a TORI-ble poem- thanks to Tori Amos, I had the urge to write a terrible poem.
Ipagpatuloy ang sawing pangarap- a poem for the Wowowee victims.
Nawawala, Nagtatago, Nagtataka, Nagtatanong- entry inspired by the First Quarter Storm documentary.
Short Cuts topics- new hair cut, new life cuts.
Post-Valentines Entry/Trauma-rama- because of sleepless nights.
My,my,my, is's Monday- the obvious student/worker's Monday-grudge.
MedioRock: Pinoyrock or Pinoycrap topics- the inevitable mediocrity in pinoyrock.
Scarbble, Scramble- my day's wordplay.
Black Day- a day of paranoia, a day of melancholia.
Leche Plan- planning for nothing.
Pontio Pilato- isopropyl alcohol related to the nearing holy week.
What Dreams May Come- dream-critique, Gabriel Garcia Marquez-inspired.
Halo! Halo!- on Twisted Halo's mournful disbandment.
All That I Can's Leave Behind- meandering thoughts related to my resignation.
Do You Like Spaghetti?- my favorite food makes sense.
Crayontivity- the need to color life.
The Friendly One- on trying my best to be.
Comfortably Numb- a take on Scorsese's The Departed.
Multu-Multuhan- the season to scare and be scared.
Just My Luck: Compliments, Engagement and a 10-peso coin- what a lucky day!
Takbo, Pilipinas, Takbo- politics, politics, politics.
The Great Depression- am I really supposed to be teaching?
Heatstroke- hating summer, big time! .
Lakwatsera- exploring Manila.
Spidey Goes Emo- on Peter Parker's haircut.
Leksyon ng Eleksyon- on my one vote's failure to make a difference.
I Get So Weak- aging people are my Achilles heel
Like A Stone- writer's block, writer's stoned
Age of Innocence, Age of Indolence - does age matter in music for God's creations.
on Twisted Halo's Miron- sa mga rakistang nagtiis sa pagtuturo ng tungkol sa pagtitiis
Runny Nose-phobic - Mulawin and Stairway to Heaven, not a good combination
Illiterature - being workaholic makes us all "illiterate"
It's Raining In My House Part Three - Rain/Bi's invasion in my life. sarang hae Jeong Ji-Hoon!
On Full House ... Again - the greatest Korean drama ever made
The World Is A Vampire - the cruelty of Pumpkins' disbandment
The Massacre of Hip-hop - of why i hate hip-hop nowadays
Isang Gabing Di Makatulog Dahil Sa Nawawalang Hikaw - isa sa mga mababaw na pangyayari sa aking buhay
The Korean Invasion and Some Thoughts on Labor Day - of why koreans invade our homeland and why we are all hopeless in our work
My Weird and Wonderful Weekend - weird + wonderful = weekend
Still Water Runs Deep - why people should not take me for granted
Mga Katanungan - questions of an inquisitve mind
Where Have All The Good Men Gone? - why filipinos continue to live in an ivory tower
Pumapatak na naman ang Ulan - some thoughts on the rainy season
Etymology of Elinia - why the hell was my name changed?
When It Is Counted Sweetest - mernel's cake and familial love
Simula nang Makakain ng Lamok - one of the few realizations i had in my life
Cleanliness is Godliness - alcohol-maniac, being ms. clean and green
On War of the Worlds - one of the few movies of tom cruise that i truly appreciate
The World According to Troy - troy who? guidelines of how to live a troy-like life
Waiting for the Bus - all because of the rally, ely singing in my head again
Kalayaan Para Sa Ating Lahat - is freedom really overrated?
The Importance of Having the Mongols - on writing with pencils
To Blog or Not To Blog - is the greatest question of all writers who do have blogs
Is My Life Buhaghag Free- metaphor for the tangles in life
25 cents-worth Entry - in times like these... 25 cents matters.
The Light - drama, drama and more drama about my life and the road not taken
Pinoyrock and the Camp - music moves, music grooves, music blues huhuhu



Blogmates

Ninerks- My Life According to Me
Chuckiepat- Brighter than Sunshine...Let the rain fall, I don't care
Mmmqx- Man invented language to fulfill his deep need to complain
Musiqueshop- Strumming my guitar
January21st- Oxymoron
Vandarkala- Emerald Pastures
Kaiganda- Point Blank
Graceqt11- Can't handle this
Chwis- my Chemical Romance, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge
Lang- I gotta cut back on caffeine
Hitori- Thoughts from the Red Planet
Soyster- Fictional Space
Kathy- KitKat56
Irynna- Adventures of Irynna
Istardust- I am Stardust
Shugaria- Patitik
Ninibelles- Call girl and book anaconda
Bokalist- Naglalakad akong mag-isa kanina sa kawalan
Vintagerock- Lovers of Real Music
Chubbypumpkin- The World... is our own canvas
Katribu- The fire of Mother Nature
Tito Rolly- Mga Turo ni Tito Rolly
Lang- Every note is in its place
Hardrocker- Watching life Steamroll by...
Bluehaze- Aiko
Tagpuan- Ayie
Melch- A person like me doesn't deserve to live, Death came by. I embraced him.
Ruffa- My love is real
Hereinmycorner- How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Wanderingmind- Babblings and Rantings of a girl when depressed, ecstatic and alone
Jacq- Have a cup of coffee with me
Shenmue7754- 100% Pure Honey
Northernsky- Bi-polar slash manic depressive
Kristina16- So much for my happy ending
Mindrifter- When it's not gonna work then it's not gonna work
Claudine-ology- Would you be brave to see right through me?
Shinjita- Miyavi no, Kiss of Katana
Ves-le-artiste- Love Conquers All
Rainysummer- From the top of my head
J.A.- Slipknot
Noel Bava- Poems, Prayers, Inspirations, Photos and Musings about life, love and what it means to be a child of the Father
Kristina16- Truth about being true
Mhaigirl- i could've denied the truth and lied
Hudgin- Dave's wicked awesome bloggy
Tech: the amateur- Anthing goes!
Gemclair- Gemclair forever
Fishbabe- Korean World
Vhdgdzei- Chronic Pyschosis. A life enthusiast in a steady bliss
Vhdgdzei- Chronic Pyschosis. A life enthusiast in a steady bliss...take two
Prettypolah ...Round and round it goes
Justcallmehance- My imperfections only make me more adorable
Supladitah- Welcome 2 my utopia


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