I could not help not to shed a tear while listening to this eminent Pink Floyd song in the movie soundtrack (Van Morrison covered it though) as I literally became numb after bodies collapsed like dominos, gun shots have darted in an eye-blink to countless skulls and Jack Nicholson eats trapped flies and waves a cut-off hand. I guess this song says it all about the society we all live in. I remember my friend's anxiety about watching the movie since she heard that the movie is all about violence. But aren't we all living violently?

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The movie is a sadistic and ferocious depiction of the human race. We are "the departed". We are dead bodies that growl for life and existence. One continues to be numb because of the same old hunger for power when it can never be the answer to feel a heartbeat and count a pulse. The movie's foreshadowing is Frank Costello's imposing line, "I don't want to be a product of my environment, I want the environment to be a product of me."

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It may be clichéd to have a cops and robbers alike cat and mouse chase to show how power is influenced in each one of us but I want Scorsese's concentration on truth, trust and err, paranoia. Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio) represents the innocence of a child especially when he came to seek refuge in a psychotherapist (Vera Farmiga). Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) maybe the most evil of a man but he is also the fair-minded one.

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I like the punch lines and literary allusions (James Joyce, Nathaniel Hawthorne, John Lennon). I like the emphasis on having a psychotherapist in the story line. The psychotherapist room is a sacred sanctuary where policemen can cleanse themselves and thread things up after a dirty work. Although the idea of having a female for the role, the gentle and comforting touch is what I don't like for it puts women on the same unwanted pedestal of f**k bodies. In the end, there is no much help needed in the character of Billy Costigan for the therapy came from his self. Sure, Sigmund Freud and other psychoanalyst gods can help but in the end, it's just us and the world.

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People will start to die and "depart" gaining conscience and consciousness (after childhood). We are now responsible how to save ourselves from departing: saving a bullet from going into our heads, pumping trust and integrity into our veins instead.

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Paranoia stems from distrust. It is terrifying to be left in suspicion. I think all of us are paranoid not to admit we are all paranoid. Until we have that courage to admit it, let's sing the song for the mean time and comfortably numb ourselves over and over again:

Hello? Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, now,
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again.
Relax. I'll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

O.K.

Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

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Album Review: Chicosci's Chicosci