I felt sorry for myself for being blinded all these years: the glow of neon lights, the tinker of lavish plates, the aroma of scented air in lofty buildings and grandiose shopping malls. I never knew that I had lost my national pride. When I trailed the "perilous" streets of Manila last Wednesday, it pinched my self-conscious pride. How come I haven't appreciated the beauty in this chaotic place? Passing by Luneta and Quiapo, I suddenly rememberd kalesas and Maria Claras, my lolo and lola and the historical wagon of the Spanish and Japanese regime. Did I possible live in those eras? I've always liked seeing antique houses anyways, you know those houses with really old windows that remind you either of the attack of a mananagggal or the sweet-sounds of harana. I've been dragged by nostalgia when my Mom started to give a history lecture of Escolta, Divisoria and Avenida. Add it up to my reading of Jun Cruz Reyes' Tutubi, Tutubi, Wag Kang Pahuhuli sa Mamang Salbahe wherein he depicted the life of Filipinos during Martial Law. I like his description of Quiapo with people being religious and superstitious at the same time.

Ten years from now, what will I remember from the digital world at present? What will I tell my children of what I am experiencing today? That Filipinos have calloused fingers because of texting? That people ride luxurious cars instead of walking? That people are anxious about Spider-man 3 instead of dating in the park?

When that time comes, I don't want to be nostalgic. I'd rather have a memory gap.

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Poetry: At Quiapo Central
Asian Review: Dating Now


The focal point of Dating Now is the common trial and error phase of young adults when it comes to looking for the right person around. Although quite traditional when it comes to the mix and match process, the guy should provide for the girl, the guy should be stronger than the girl, the girl should look for a richer guy, I admire the stronghold on friendship in relationship. The circle of friends depicted in the drama shows that friendship is very much important in a relationship: Yoon Ho Jae and Kang Soo Ji (Kwon Sang Woo and Lee Ui Jeong), Choi Kyo In and Kang Cha Hee (So Ji Sub and Choi Yoon Yeong) and Choi Kyo In and Yoon Ho Jung (So Ji Sub and Chae Rim). Friends can be lovers and lovers can be friends, although the latter is very crucial. Read more

Everyday gives a heart-break
Everyday is heart-breaking
Everyday I am heart-broken
Everyday my heart breaks
Everyday breaks my heart

For someone I know
For someone I knew
For someone I’ve never known
For someone I will know

My heart pains everyday
For it waits and waits
It pains and it waits
It will pain and wait
For many days to come

"Miss, I think you're going to Alaska" commented one of the Grade 7 students when our school had its annual Sports Day Festival. I was wearing jacket so as to avoid the torturing rays of sunlight. It's freakin' 3:00 P.M. for heat's sake! With the help of sunblock and yeah, my sweater, I did skip the possibility of getting "tanned".

I hate summer, I really do. Just today, I was so annoyed because I did not enjoy the day without complaining about the signs of the summer times. On television, a lot of personality have started to show off their swimsuit collection. People are becoming temporary vegetarians so as to lose beer belly and excess fat for them to look sizzlin' hot in Boracay and all those summer spots for summer shebang. As for me, there's no place like home during summer. I'd rather do a 2-hour dance exercise to burn all my fat than bask under the powerful star.

It's not that I don't appreciate the Sun. I do. We did Astronomy in my Science class a month ago and I could not possibily imagine myself being so interested in teaching, and at the same time, learning from the "star-people".

Our sun has existed for the past 16 billion years and will continue to exist for another 16 billion years. So if I die and get reincarnated over and over again, it's the same sun which I will revel or complain about.

Or, would I rather wait for its black hole stage to happen?

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I keep complaining about everything. It's probably the heat. With this hot weather, everthing seems to be on fire and raging. I hate everything. Nothing pleases me anymore. Not even a bottle of my favorite soda or a pint of ice cream. My head throws fireballs at anything. It's like the world is a vast sauna to get rid of wastes through heat and my turbulent mind always reaches its boiling point.

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What is wrong with me during this kind of weather? If I would recall the time that 'Milenyo' wreaked havoc nationwide last year, I was praying for the sun to shine instantly.

I am always imagining the two sides of the coin, which one will I go for? Endless rainfall and typhoon so the streets of Metro Manila will become riverlike or burning heat that can cause me delirium?

I've been experiencing this heat for the past 23 years of my life and yet, I am still complaining when I know that after a month or two, it will eventually stop. Maybe it's the exact moment wherein I fail to feel something that I have wanted to feel for a long time.

I miss sadness.

In this kind of weather, I can't be sad. Instead of the supposed tears to trickle down my face, sweat always comes out in the first place.

I knew it. I need melancholy in this heat wave. I need to appease myself with poignant memories.

In times like these, I need to have infinite sadness, I need to be myself.

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click on the ff:

Poetry: Init, Inip, Isip
Song Review: Today
OPM Song Review: Dulo ng Dila

Until now I can't seem to figure out how....

Jb= lucrative job

Ca= luxury car

Mo= lots a money

Fr= loyal friends

Be= perfect boyfriend

Jb + Ca + Mo --------> Fr + Be ???

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ASIAN REVIEWS:



Biscuit Teacher and Star Candy

Cast:
Gong Hyo Jin
Gong Yoo
Kim Da Hyeon
Choi Yeo Jin
Jang Hee Jin

No matter how my sister often argues with me about Gong Hyo Jin being an impressive and talented actress, I could not help being resolute about it because she is, indeed, a great actress. From her tranquil performance in Guns and Talk, to her rowdy demeanor in Conduct Zero; from her combative undertaking in Volcano High to her wailing days in Sang Doo Let’s Go To School, it seems that she is progressing in every role that is set for her. In this particular drama, she plays the role of Na Bo Ri (funny because Bo Ri is the name of her niece in Sang Doo). Bo Ri was once kicked out of school because of behavioral misunderstanding. Ever since, she worked as hard as she can to be able to go through college. She is an aspiring teacher because she wanted to erase the memory of her cruel past when she was alleged of a misdemeanor, and she wanted to meet the man of her dreams for the past 6 years, her Art teacher, Ji Hyun Woo. Read more



Too Beautiful To Lie

Cast:
Kim Ha Neul as Joo Young Ju
Kang Dong Won as Choi Hee Chul


A woman on parole is set to visit her marrying sister when she met a man who is about to propose to his city chick girlfriend. Both of them are on the train. The woman was sleeping when the man’s engagement ring (inherited from his late mother) accidentally fell under the woman’s legs. The woman mistaken the man as a pervert so the latter started explaining to her what happened and he inevitably told stories to prove that he is not that kind of person. The woman eventually saw a pickpocket steal the man’s ring so she, as an expert in fraud took back the ring from the thief. Being too busy and pleased with her act, she left her bag in the train. She is now on her way to YongKang (the man’s hometown), to return the ring and retrieve her bag (which has her present for her sister’s wedding). Upon her arrival, she met a series of fortunate events that helped her on her way to the man’s home and eventually to the man’s heart. Read more

Since I was a child, I have always wanted to make a difference. I know, I know, many people might straight-forwardedly object considering how recluse and reserved I was and still am. If I could clearly recall when I last visited my late grandfather's house for a simple reunion of families and relatives, my uncle gave me the involuntary glare when he learned that I am currently teaching. Yes, teaching. Not the one-on-one tutorial set-up, not the distance learning I used to do, but the traditional (though contestable) classroom-based one. He reveled with the thought of how was I able to reprimand and handle a class when I wasn't that "comfortable" speaking up in public or simply in my family and relatives' presence?

Well, scrap it. I guess one "positive-trait" that I am proud of is how I easily forget what other people say about me. Their destructive criticisms just never linger. Or, it's apt to say, I'm just too stubborn to listen.

Just last week, we were having micro-teaching in our Strategies class when one of my classmates did a lecture on self-esteem. She asked us about our passion: what are we passionate about? What am I passionate about? Knowing the endless list that I have placed in my Friendster account, I surprisingly could not think of a single and genuine object, act, person to utter.

And that's how it formally began.

There goes my long-forgotten goal to make a difference. There goes the educational investment my parents had worked for. There goes the long-stretched battles of confusion with helpful friends over hours of phone calls. There goes the knowledge, the philosophies, the patience, the outcries, the conflicts, the pros and cons. They are starting to go down the drain.

It's true, the worst thing that could happen is not that one is not sure of what he or she is doing. It's not knowing what to do.

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Album Review: Bloc Party's A Weekend In The City



After a year since their major release that "alarmed" major producers to do major wooing and persuading for the band to join a major label, Bloc Party did a major decision to let the Grammy-winner Jacknife Lee take over the production of their anticipated sophomore compilation strangely called "A Weekend In The City". Why strangely? Perhaps I had let loose of my previous qualms of what made Bloc Party an alternative, or to be more specific, a post-punk band (I remember my Silent Alarmed review when I misconstrued the band under the diverse hip-hop genus. And now, they are making me erect that soaring reservation again. Read more

Nagsusumiksik
At nanlilisik ang luhaang mata ng araw
Ngayong tag-init  

Nagsusumiksik
Ang kakarampot na hangin sa masikip
Na espasyo  

Nagsusumiksik
Ang taba sa pusong naghahabol sa minamahal  

Nagsusumiksik
Ang libu-libong alaala sa isipan  

Nagsusumiksik  

Daig pa ang unos na nagwasak
Daig pa ang lagablab ng apoy na tumupok  

Di masaliksik kung ano, sino, paano at hanggang kailan

And the drama continues... 

Sugarfree's Kailan Ka Ba?

Duda ang aking kasama, at sabay kami
sa aming pag-iisa
Meron akong, matagal nang hinahanap
at ang takot ko'y di sya mahagilap

Dumaan na ba sya? Diko lang napuna?
Ilang gabi pang laman ng isip?
Ilang araw pang magtatanong?

Kung sino? Nasan? Kailan ka ba
darating at ako ay sagipin
sa mundong malupit, at naiinip
Sino? nasan? kailan ka ba?

Walang silbi sa akin ang gabi
di makatulog sa kahihinty sa yo
Kung ika'y dumating, kailangang tanggapin
na baka di ka naman maging akin

Sino ka man dumating ka na please
Sino ka man dumating ka na please
Sino? nasan? kailan?

Summer has broken into the busy streets. People have wanted to show off their swimsuits and speedily dart to the beach. But summer will not be summer without the end of classes, the culmination of school activities and farewell parties. I thought it's been long overdone for me after almost 20 years of schooling. But with my current job, I guess it's inescapable to declare, the saga continues…

Before March embarks on the "marching" process of graduating students, it has always been an adapted tradition to have Proms— high school prom to be precise. It usually starts mid February where you can see the malls flooded with giggling and restless teens comparing and scrutinizing each gown that they eye for. Fashion and teen magazines will most definitely be featuring their Do's and Don'ts for Prom night, assuming they know everything about it.

For me, I've never really liked Proms despite the long-gone teenybopper nature inside of me when I was in my struggling teenage years (the crest during my high school years liking sunshine and rainbow craze, boyband sensation, sticker and stationery trade, etc.). It was not because I hate wearing prom clothes. In fact, I did desire collecting gowns. Nor it was because I couldn't stand the itchy make-up creams and other rouge to spread on my face. It's not because I lived like a hermit because experiencing the prom twice meant having a great time with my friends. It was not because I was drowning in bitterness because I didn't have a date. FYI: prom in Bene (formerly known as Benedictine Abbey School and St. Benedict College, now indistinctly called San Beda Alabang) was very odd. Juniors and Seniors are forced to be paired up. And they wickedly call it, "Threshold Moment" wherein Seniors pass on to the Juniors the so-called "responsibility" (which I've always thought of as abusive power). Up to this very moment, I have been trapped by the same old quandary of why I never liked Proms. That's why when I notice and discover that teenagers are starting to go gaga over it, I just laugh and silently scorn their actions.

Just a week ago, a student of mine in school handed me a paper with her drawing. When I unfolded the paper, I saw that she drew a portrait of me. I totally looked different on the drawing because I looked so…err, cool. And the funny thing was, she put a caption at the bottom saying, "Prom Queen". Whew! Life's indeed a haunting mystery.

Situated near the aisle in the church, I did shoe-watching again while kneeling down. I didn't indulge in prayer or any fervent act. I just kneeled there while browsing through pairs of shoes: queued pairs of feet slowly inching their way to have their moment to say "Amen" to the beloved priest.


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Album Review: Incubus' Light Grenades


Light Grenades, released last November 2006, is Incubus' much anticipated offer after 2003's ACLOTM. To bare my congenial prefatory, Light Grenades has 13 worthy bomb tracks that mostly speaks of personal liberty, unshackled self-expression and erudition on love relationships. White Fluffy Clouds-whiz, Brandon Boyd bequeaths unto us his poetic prowess in most of the songs. "Diamonds and Coals" is his plea for perfecting relationships: read more


Album Review: Sugarfree's Tala-Arawan


The album's opener, "Dear Kuya", though a probable Budget Card/Overseas commercial ad-aid, sinks us into a more profound yet apparent situation: Mitch Singson's tear-jerking departure from this thriving band. Track 2 called "Kailan Ka Ba?" confesses of the persona's agony of waiting for the right person (be it lover or a friend) to save him from all the troubles of the world. The guitar-bass-drum well-orchestrated pace is very much alike to the old Sugarfree songs, giving more highlight to Ebe's heart-rending vocal flair. Evolution and growth-wise, I don't pretty much hear it in the record. read more


Asian Review: Princess Hours


Acting-wise, Joo Ji-Hun is best in commercials and his CF's. Leave it that way. The big screen is still way far to be ripe for him to indulge in. I like his silent shots though, they're so...commercialized. Prince Yul did better compared to the others. In fact, my sister and mother agreed to my opinion that he looks better than Shin. Shin Jae-Kyoung's character is very inconsistent. read more

Akala ko ako lang ang mahilig tumakbo
Sapagkat hinahabol ng aso
Sapagkat hinahabol ang payaso
Sapagkat inaayawan ang trabaho
Sapagkat di matupad ang pangako

Takbo ng takbo

Para pumayat
Para sumigla
Para matunaw ang taba sa katawan
Para ang problema ay kalimutan

Takbo ng takbo
Iikutin ang Maynila
Iikutin ang Pilipinas
Iikot ng iikot hanggang ang lahat
Ay mahilo sa kakatakbo

Tatakbo na ang mga artista
Tatakbo na ang mga boksingero
Tatakbo na ang mga maligno
Tatakbo na ang mga multo

Nakakatakot!
Kaya’t lahat ay dapat nang tumakbo!